# A "True" and "Accurate" Account — Ken, the Bard

The verified and fact-checked adventures of Ken the Bard and her fellow troop of companions.

# 2/28/2026 - The Day the World Changed

We were still recovering from the massive fight at the base of that structure. No spells left. No safe place to rest. Everyone worn thin. Barty was worse. He’d been bitten — and not in a way one forgets. He tried to cauterize it himself. It was brave. It was determined. It did not go well. The wound sealed, but something in him dulled after that. The Blight had its hooks in him, and he could feel it.

We all could.

But the river did not care.

The crane above the debris was the only way forward, so Eggie climbed to the control tower while the rest of us took positions below. That’s when he found the levers — and the reason no one else had succeeded. Whoever tried before had lost their fingers to the mechanism. Weeks old. The crane demanded sacrifice.

And then there was the rope.

Pristine. Metallic. Resting there like it belonged.

When Barty picked it up, it shifted. Just slightly. Enough that we all noticed. It coiled faintly in his hand, like it was testing him, then went still. Not normal rope behavior. Not even slightly.

We didn’t have time to unpack that.

Agnes and Emonie dropped down to hook the crane to the debris. Emonie landed like she expected applause. Agnes followed with priestly grace intact. Eggie lowered the crane perfectly, and we began to push.

It was heavier than it had any right to be.

We strained together, iron groaning under pressure. It started to move.

And then I pushed too hard.

The bar snapped.

The crane whipped backward like an angry god. Agnes went into the water. The control tower collapsed with a crash so loud it rolled across the marsh like a challenge.

Something answered.

The ground shook.

“They’re coming,” Barty said.

And the rope slid free and coiled around his arm like it agreed.

What rose from beneath the structure was not subtle. The Blasphemy emerged half flesh, half liquid, with yellow eyes and the confidence of something that had never once lost a fight. She slammed Eggie with terrifying force, and for a moment I thought we had lost him.

We didn’t panic.

We retreated very deliberately.

Elandra tried to Suggest the creature back into the muck. It did not appreciate that. Shamblers closed in. A Broken Lord joined the fray. A Wretched lunged at me and missed, which I would like noted for the record.

Agnes planted herself like a boundary marker, her Toll ringing out again and again. Emonie hauled people back toward the barge. Barty struck fast and disengaged faster. I insulted things until they hesitated. It’s an art.

The Blasphemy melted across the battlefield like she wasn’t fully committed to having bones, reviving shamblers we had already dropped. Steely Dan fell in the chaos.

We didn’t try to win.

We tried to live.

Step by step we withdrew to the barge. When I nearly got cut off, the rope extended toward me on its own. I grabbed it and made it aboard as the others shoved us free.

Behind us, the Blasphemy just stood there in the shallows, watching.

We drifted into the mist.

Alive. Barely.

---

Later we found a dock with an iron bell and a crow pecking at it like it was being paid. Archimedes reacted strongly to the rope, which helped exactly zero. Eggie fire-bolted the bell. Nothing answered.

Inside the nearby boathouse, Agnes and Barty heard faint chiming. Not wind chimes — religious fetishes arranged in the symbol of Lathander. Six of them. Three with silver inlaid.

Agnes replaced the silver with copper of equal number. Respect given where it was due.

That night, she told Barty quietly that if the Blight took him, she would see him sent properly beyond.

He did not sleep well.

In the morning, we learned the rope’s nature: a Rope of Climbing. A relic. Loyal, apparently. Eggie rebuilt Steely Dan into something sturdier and renamed him Jericho.

We continued downriver.

Gibbets lined the banks. Some empty. Some moving.

And then we saw the monastery.

It was enormous — more temple than monastery — gold sun iconography blazing across its stonework. Dedicated to Lathander. Beautiful. Immaculate. Unsettling.

Inside, the air smelled of incense and mildew, not death. Doors were barricaded from within. Something struck one as we passed.

At the end of a candlelit hall sat Brother Durst — ancient beyond reason, sharp blue eyes under a curtain of white beard. Alone for a year and a half. In service for nine centuries.

He knew we were coming.

Lathander had told him.

He gave us a box meant for Lady Elspeth of Ebonmoor. The Emberglass. He warned us not to touch it directly if it broke. He said he would join his brothers after we left.

Agnes stayed behind to speak with him a moment longer. He told her she was doing holy work.

We left.

The stained glass shattered before we reached the doors.

Fireballs tore into the sanctuary. Flames devoured pews and pillars alike. Nine raiders waited outside. Two with pistols. One with a silver dagger. Jorick’s name surfaced in accusation.

[![17281654-8cc1-4576-a459-4b06fc78990f.png](https://dnd.raresnacks.net/uploads/images/gallery/2026-03/scaled-1680-/RQrNNwaL7zBiiy62-17281654-8cc1-4576-a459-4b06fc78990f.png)](https://dnd.raresnacks.net/uploads/images/gallery/2026-03/RQrNNwaL7zBiiy62-17281654-8cc1-4576-a459-4b06fc78990f.png)

We charged.

The fight was chaos. Fire behind us. Steel ahead.

Agnes fell while still holding the box.

It broke.

And then—light.

Not firelight.

Not magic.

White brilliance burst outward from the shattered crate and swallowed the burning monastery in radiance. It drowned the flames. It forced every shadow to retreat.

From the splintered wood rose a hexagonal shard of gold-veined glass, hovering in the air. At its core something pulsed. Something breathed.

It called to Agnes.

She reached for it.

When her hand touched the Emberglass, her wounds vanished. She rose to her feet, standing in the inferno as the light wrapped around her like dawn itself had chosen her.

Everyone saw.

The light burned brighter than the fire consuming the holy place. It felt like something ancient had just opened its eyes.

The Emberglass hovered near her, then settled into a calm, dormant state — but it was awake now.

And as it did, Barty straightened.

The creeping weakness inside him stilled. The Blight stopped advancing. The mark remained, but it no longer spread.

The relic had chosen us.

When the raiders lay dead, we searched them and found:

- 120 gold pieces
- 3 silver coins
- 60 iron clinkers
- 300 copper pieces
- 1 silver dagger
- 2 pistols
- 1 potion of healing

I took the silver dagger.  
Eggie claimed the pistols.  
The silver was divided.  
Barty kept the potion.

And we stood there in the ashes of a monastery, holding something that had just changed the shape of the world.

We had awakened the Emberglass.

# 4/18/2026 - A Blighted Beginning

I awake from a deep slumber in a bag of holding. Everything is hazy, but I think I inspired the team a few times. Time to start back on our journey. Gudger left us a map with notes in the margin so we can maintain our path. I don’t think it’s a good idea to part with the Emberglass, especially since it’s keeping our wise, saturated Monk alive. Thankfully, we’re all in agreement that we need to create a decoy to return to Jorick, rat bastard.

Agnes finds a tiny, spice box that is ornate enough to pass. Eggie says he can create an imposter glowing shard. We set off on a normal pace towards our destination with nothing but fields of dead crops, must have been a farming community. Barty is leading the charge and I’m sticking to the back to keep vision on everyone/thing, fuck you scarecrow, I ain’t scared of you!

Agnes and Barty observe the town we’re walking towards is populated, but the people within are solid statues. All in various poses/actions, it looks as if they were all frozen in time. Curious.

Let’s move closer, but quietly. Barty is a heavy foot, but he’s just recently come back to life… I think his mug runs dry. Agnes can see. The statues are all various colors without noses, and the eyes are deep sunken holes, the mouths seem agape although non-existent.

Rustling in the crops behind me, I turn to an outline of someone moving? Focus, Ken. Oh, it’s just a stupid scarecrow. Bringing up the rear starting to make me more paranoid…

Elandra and I want to inspect these pristine gloves; donned by a decomposed corpse. He doesn’t need them anymore. We creep closer to send out Mage Hands to retrieve these gloves. My hand retrieves the arrows that the hands are clenching, and Elandra removes the gloves. Obsidian black gloves with blue lines that look like veins that trail all the way to the fingertips and turn a stunning blue. She almost put them on, but her bird did that weird, red-eyed thing. This bird is a puzzling creature, I’m still not convinced it’s even a bird. Elandra puts on both gloves, and is immediately enamored. As Agnes is examining the gloves, her peripheral vision notices that statues have now turned and faced our group. Have they multiplied? This feels wrong.

Eggie moves closer to examine and move an arm of a statue and as he looks up, he sees the head of the statue is now staring right into his face. Click, click, click, click. Clicking around us, and now there’s more of them. Perfectly still, but closer and larger in number. Are they surrounding us?

Circle up, back to back, it’s time to get out of here safely. Elandra gives Emonie the gloves, but she loves to dual wield, so I volunteer to don them. Maybe I can lure that bird of Elandra’s. But for now, we need to get out of this town before we become some Scary, Starey Statues. We start to leave all in a circle, with our heads on a swivel to keep eye contact with them, we reach the edge of the first circle of them. How many more layers of them must we go through before we leave?

Agnes Banes the 3 that are closest to us and then successfully turns the undead. I have never seen such power. They flee with speeds I am thankful are running away from us instead of towards us. We mark this area on our map with a big X and in the margins scribe “Stay the FUCK OUT!” I wonder if Gudger knew about this spooky town…

We continue down the path on our way, and soon we see in our view, a large farmhouse. Probably used to be run by some rich landowners. But now, it’s deserted, no one there, not even those creepy statues. The sun is starting to set, and we will not be trekking in the dark. Maybe this house could serve as a safe house, even just for tonight. Agnes and Barty walk up the front steps of the farmhouse; rocking chairs on the porch that look weathered by time and the elements. To avoid being rude, Barty abides by some invisible code and knocks on the door. Emonie circles the perimeter of the house, and it seems ok. Noticing only a shed in the backyard, with a door ajar.

Barty pushes the door open to try to investigate; looks more like a stable than a shed. Horse corpses lie within their stalls. They don’t look slaughtered, maybe starved, but the decomposition is far too dense for us to really tell, even with Agnes’s proficiency with medicine. This stable seems benign.

Focusing on the farm house, we head to the back door. Emonie skillfully unlocks the door with her lockpick. It smells musty and dusty but we head on inside. There’s a long table with 6 decaying individuals sitting amongst what looks to be a dessert course with multiple plates and a pie dish.

With our investigative eyes, we search the kitchen. The kitchen has two bottles of wine, one is a Durellan red and the other is some shitty rose. Barty stows them in his pack. Scattered around are some half empty bottles, plates and bowls from the baking, and off to the side is a note.

*“We will not be processed.”*

We move onwards to the living area to investigate some drawers. A coin purse with 12 silver coins, 360 gold coins, and 60 copper pieces. Next to the coin purse is a note, “*NOT ENOUGH”*

The penmanship looks the same as the other note, but legible and neatly written. Agnes finds a glass bottle full of yellowish liquid, the same as the other bottle we found before. Who lived here? Wealthy yes, but noble? Doubtful. A local map in their office reveals they may have been more in the property gaining business and not the farming business. Was this family going to buy out the rest of this area? We see familiar landmarks, the hut we met Silas (we’re coming Addy!) and it’s several miles out from here. Looking further, this map also highlights BIG circles marked in black as if they tried to obscure it. One of those big circles is not only the biggest on this map, but it’s also in the exact direction we need to head to retrieve Addy! It’s almost like our gods want us to walk into trouble. For the sake of the lore?!

Agnes uses her calligraphy skills to review the indentations under the big circles in black over the location we are heading. She reads: *“Processing”, “Cage”, and “Bribe”* We find a top drawer (locked), an abacus, and a healing kit with two charges. Elandra finds an ornate dagger, mainly just for show. With the downstairs cleared, we ascend to the 2<sup>nd</sup> floor. The 3 rooms are all bedrooms. One likely of the 2 adults and the other two look like rooms for children. Elegant robes for Elandra, good thing since she couldn’t keep the gloves.

Time for a long rest, as I drift off to sleep, I can hear Barty trying to get comfortable and his rhythmic moans and groans lull me to dream land. As we wake, we feel peace, except for Barty, he seems like he wrestled all night to find comfort. Time to get back on the path to Silas and Addy. The land is blackened from a wall of fire. We see tons of cages all filled with corpses that had been set ablaze. Beyond those are flimsy, cloth tents and more corpses of what looks to be soldiers.

Historically, we know when the Blight first hit, so did hysteria and paranoia. Family turning on family. Friends betraying their loved ones. It’s clear this area was being used for processing and it looks like most of these corpses weren’t infected. Ignorance and paranoia is what brought them down, not the Blight. It’s as if they set it a flame. Resistance? Extermination? Who knows. One thing I can say with full confidence is chaos fueled this insanity. Upon further investigation, we see House of Valkenmar banners. This is clearly a government sanctioned area. Mounds of mass graves line the area; and we come across the largest one. Filled with bodies and Agnes can see movement within the dirt and muck. It’s like it’s bubbling and something is rising…it’s. a. Blasphemy!

The rate at which this Blasphemy is summoning other squish gooheads, it’s just blasphemous! I tried keeping track of the hits we took with the abacus we found. But I don’t think I can recall everything about them like I had hoped. Elandra’s force, Agnes’s radiant and my psychic damage seem to be penetrating it fully, but the actionable slashes, stabs and bludgeoning doesn’t really full at all..half at best?

The battle is epic, and we are managing some great hits that are stopping these monsters in their tracks. We are taking some deep hits on our side as well. Agnes and I are very weak after several deep cuts from the Blasphemy. Emonie shines through to bring down a Blaspho from nearly taking Agnes out. Eggie beams Sanctuary over Agnes and then takes down another Blaspho! Bart takes out the final one, almost tripping into the head of the last one. We barely survived. Agnes is down to 2 MAX HP and Ken is at 8 MAX HP.

# 7/18/26 From the Muck We Rise

Through it all we survived. Muck stained, barely alive. Through it all we stand revived. Growing stronger to level five.

The angel sent from above, Gudger, bestowed upon us the knowledge on how to get back to Silas. Trusty Silas has been keeping our sweet Addy safe. About 2 hours on the way back to retrieve her and then maybe even a long rest. Oh how I need a fecking long rest. Fecking, that’s a funny swear. Barty taught me. Feck. Feck. Feck. What are Emonie and Eggie doing? Both are saying we need to head west, but they’re pointing in opposing directions. After a few words are exchanged, they settle on the right direction. It’s around noon and I’m happy to leave this stinky, gassy, and gooey place.

We set forth on a normal pace on our way back to Silas. Agnes, Elandra and I start to hear a panicked man’s voice. From a distance, we can see he’s chest deep in a gnarly, wet ground. His cart seems to be submerged within the muck as well. He’s easily 300 feet ahead of us, we can see him struggling, but he can’t see us. Barty attempts to venture towards the fallen man, but within 3 steps, his feet are covered.

Agnes adds water walking onto all of our feet and we are able to embark on any watery surface! How cool! I’m tap dancing on muck! Agnes and Barty start towards the stuck man. They quiet his shrieks, and Agnes begins to start a ritual to grant him the ability to walk out of this too. Elandra levitates him out of the muck while Barty wraps the rope of climbing on him to prevent him from falling back down in the muck. Once he lowers down, Emonie interrogates him. He said that he and his buddies (4 in total) were all coming down from the north and their horse got spooked and ran. It dragged them into the muck and left him. His 3 friends left him, the corpse that Barty and Agnes saw in the muck with him was “there when I got there.” His name is “Tav.”

As Emonie continues her interrogation, she sees him scratching his back. As she turns him around, she can see the bite. Agnes performs a medicine check and sees that he is in the advanced stage of the Blight. He is a liability. He’s further infected than our dear friend Barty. “Back in the hole!” I scream!

Agnes calmly talks to him to try and coax him into letting her ease his passage into the afterlife. He freaks out and runs, forgetting that Barty still has him tied to his rope. She can sense the crystal warming, almost like it’s reacting to his infection, but he’s too far gone for this world. She eases his way and TRUE STRIKES him to the beyond. It’s RADIANT! A HOLY impact so deep his arms and legs immediately ascend above. I will forever refer to this as the “Agnes Special”. I think all Blighted should feel honored to go this way.

We recover 2 fresh rations, a short bow, and a full quiver from his sucken cart. His body also had about 72 copper on it. And by my calculations that’s about 12 copper each. Now back on the path to return to Silas and retrieve Addy.

We continue back on our normal pace, a few hours pass and we can start to hear the trickling water in the distance. It begins to look familiar from when we were rafting away from Silas’ home on the riverbanks. One can never forget that stale, decayed stagnant smell of the water. As we approach, stealthily, we can see Addy is tied to a post, safely eating. Silas’s house on stilts is dark and we can see a placard of some sort posted to the door.

Eggie and Barty use the rope of climbing to go up to the door. The sign says: FISHING. FUCK OFF!

We decide to hunker down in Silas’s house to take a Long Rest. We fall asleep quickly. Emonie meditates for a few hours while we all slumber. Agnes has an intense dream while we all deeply sleep unaware.

We awake around 8AM and feel rested and recovered. I observe Agnes praying. That’s good, she’s so holy we need all the prayer we can get. We start back on our journey to Greymire. We have to forfeit going through the military checkpoint because I made that stupid promise to Commander Callum to give him “ten fold” my earnings. What I fool I am! Me and my beak mouth! Thankfully, it’ll only be a few hours added to the trip, and now that we’re out of the Pale, sunshine is back and we all seem to have a lighter pep in our steps.

As the day continues, we start to see the iconic, grey walls of Greymire. What a privilege to have walls in this world. Agnes can start to see a line of corpses hanged as we enter Greymire. As we get closer, we can start to see a portly being in colorful clothing hanging. It’s the body of JORICK VANCE! His hands have been amputated and nailed to his chest with papers stuffed to his chest. The parchment stuffed in his mouth appears to have religious symbols on it. We are all unfamiliar with this kind of judgement. This form of punishment is unique to us all.

The gates are busy and we wait our turn to enter, thankfully we have papers so it will be easy. But as we get closer, we can see there are other guards of different colors and regalia are also standing by at the entrance. Agnes can tell that these men and women are part of guardians of the Lathander’s Light. We hand in our papers, the Greymire looks them over, a LL guard comes over and reads it and then lets us through.

Walking in, all I can see is that Greymire has gone through some insane restoration project since we’ve been gone. Have these white/gold templars taken over this city? What is happening? What’s up with a LL temple being closed door? They’re literally turning people away. We know that Lathander’s is an open doored religion.

It seems like everything else is at its usual state with the exception of this giant temple construction. It’s only been about a week. We head back towards Agnes’s home and my makeshift place. We take the long way so we can pass by Jorick’s place. There are at least 2 of the LL guards walking around his place. On his door is a wax seal : “CLOSED UNDER INVESTIGATION.”

Agnes leads us back to her place because there’s no way I could fit everyone in my makeshift place. Jerry and I could barely move around in it with just the two of us. Agnes’ home is cute and quaint. The sign reads Gentle Journeys.

She welcomes us into her home and shortly after we start to settle in, her friend Jeffery Pepper arrives to check on her. She invites him and asks him about what’s been going in.   
“They arrived around 4 days ago and just started going to work on the temple. First the guards, then priests and I’m not sure about it but I think I saw the Penatent is here too.”

What the heck is a Penatent? Apparently he’s the most fierce person who represents Lathandar’s light. He basically would raze and trample over places with brutality and violence leaving little to nothing in his wake. He’s the most feared and respected among the church circles. Dripped in a long, white robe wielding a giant silver great sword, Sun Sorrow. He is very dangerous and without a doubt probably the most infamous figures in this new era of, The Blight.

He goes where the church “needs him” and for some reason, they need him here. He is dangerous, he is destructive, he is relentless. All in the name of his religion.

Pepper lets us know that Rook (pretty much the ruler of Greymire) went through and cleared out Jorick’s place. Rook lives in Charrow (the charred row) and his place is called “The Rookery”.

Pepper believes that Rook has kind of taken over Jorick’s lackeys. It seems like Jorick’s place has a tunnel to Charrow and that’s how him and Rook would meet and do business. We start to think about how we are going to infiltrate Jorick’s brothel. We need to do some recon undetected.

Additional Shopping Montage throughout town.

We start to plan around getting into Jorick’s place. We need to go at night in order to get everyone in to look for the tunnel to Charrow. Next to Jorick’s brothel is a hostel style place. It has food and boarding that’s affordable. Penny for a Pillow. I have plenty of pennies, so maybe we can get a few rooms.

As we head to Penny for a Pillow, we pass by Jorick’s brother again. Barty clocks that the 3rd guard, the walking one, takes about 90 seconds to walk the whole perimeter. The other two are still stationed at the front door. Unfortunately, these guys are professional and aren’t talking.

We go inside Penny for a Pillow, and are greeted by a scummy individual behind the counter. He’s astonished that we want the room for the whole night. Ken gets a discount on the poop buckets. 3 for 1, don’t mind if I do!

Our room is facing east and we can see Jorick’s place from the window. Penny for a Pillow is 2 stories high, and Jorick’s place is 3 stories. There’s no way sunshine could come through this window, Jorick’s place is LITERALLY right in front of it. We can see a row of windows, I wonder if any are unlocked.

We decide to wait until night to be able to complete our recon. About 4 hours pass by, Barty maintains his attention out the window to observe if the guards change hands. Around dusk, he notices a shift change.

Once it’s dark, I send out my mage hand to check two windows. It checks the 1st window and it’s locked, the 2nd one is unlocked!

I cast invisibility on Elandra so she can levitate over out of sight. Agnes ensures Silence is surrounding the windows so we can remain undetected. I can’t see or hear her, but I imagine she whisks herself forward with beauty and grace.

She makes it inside, safely and quietly. She goes out of the room, it’s pitch black dark and the slowly and quietly opens the other door. She can see that we are on the other side of the window. She messages Barty and alerts him we are good to go. But do it quietly.

I send my mage hand with the immovable rod over to Elandra to create a point for the rope to be bound onto. Barty sends his rope of climbing over to the rod. We estimate it’ll take 1 person about 30 seconds to go across, so we decide 2 people go, and then we wait for the guard to pass by while retracting the rope and then let 2 more people go. We make it over undetected and safely. Barty takes his rope and Eggie repacks his rod.

Elandra, still invisible, starts to head downstairs to look and make sure no one is present. She goes to the 1st floor and can’t see anyone inside. As she heads down further towards the basement, she can see a doorway that’s slightly ajar. This is the doorway that leads down to the basement. She heads further down the stairs; she can see a hallway that leads towards Jorick’s office and another hallway that leads to what looks like a storage closet, but unfamiliar.

She creeps into Jorick’s office and can see it’s been ransacked and completely gutted. She can see a wall safe that looks untouched. Elandra sends a message to let us know it’s safe to come down. While she waits, she takes a swig out of a clouded and unfamiliar liquor bottle. Fully sauced from the nasty liquid. Invisible and drunk she whispers, “Don’t drink the black stuff…actually you guys should drink the black stuff.” Barty chuckles as he tries to pat her invisible shoulder.

We all begin looking around his overturned office. Not really anything left around, just some book keeping stuff. No evidence of who was in here doing all this either. Could it be Rook’s men? Could it be the churches men?

Emonie cracks the safe. Inside is a thick book and a small token. An image engraved on it… a small tower. It looks like a rook from a chess board. Ken takes the book and thumbs through it.

We recover the last 2 weeks or so of his ledger. Looks like Rook was extorting him. He definitely has our silver based on this ledger. Who leaves a coin calling card?!

Continuing on in our investigating, we start going into other rooms. Looks like part of this room has been expanded and he’s been digging to expand the space. Maybe that’s why Rook was extorting him? Eggie founds a necklace with two reddish, orange beads on them. Doesn’t look valuable, but he’s never seen this type of “necklace” before. Emonie finds a lever and discovers a hidden, trap door.

Marching order: Emonie, Agnes, Elandra, Barty, Eggie and Ken. Walking down the stone stairs that lead into what smells and is starting to look like a sewer tunnel. Thankfully, Agnes grants us water walk and we avoid having to trudge through the sludge.

As we traverse this area, I can start to see now how Jorick was able to run his empire, completely underground. Lots of symbols on the walls, looks familiar but not really. Could it be thieves cant? I can’t remember. I never learned during my time with Jerry.

Emonie guides us down the right path to where she soon encounters an iron ladder that leads up to a hatch. She heads up and opens it, quietly, to reveal ash and smoke billowing out of the hatch. She pops her head up and lighthouses around to see no one. Just embers on the ground and smoke in the air, and now her lungs.

We climb up the ladder and ascend into a destroyed, burned down building. Welcome to Charrow.

Ash covers everything, it seems like a wild fire blazed through and took everything with it.